


Stepping Stones

by Lindiloo02



Series: Merlin's Grief [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 22:07:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2245038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lindiloo02/pseuds/Lindiloo02
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to The Missing Charm. Merlin visit's Hunith's grave and has to deal with her death, Arthur helps him along the way</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stepping Stones

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to The missing Charm but can be read on it's own.
> 
> No beta so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> I don't own Merlin and I am making no profit from this it is just for fun.

It was Arthur who woke first in the morning and looked down to see Merlin curled up into his side. Merlin looked so peaceful and relaxed at the moment. The night before they had cleaned up and then spent the rest of the evening watching movies and cuddling in bed. Arthur knew that this peaceful moment was not to last and wanted to make the most of it, so he just lay there content to watch Merlin sleep for a while.

Today was going to be a long difficult day for them both as it was the first anniversary of Hunith’s death. Merlin had found it extremely difficult, his mum was the only family he had and they were very close. They both were, as Hunith was like a mum to him too. When Hunith found out that Arthur’s mum died during childbirth she had taken to fussing over him and then practically adopted him as if he were her own when his father disowned him, he loved her for it and missed her terribly.

He knew that Merlin felt responsible for the car crash that killed her because he was the one driving which was just ridiculous if anyone was responsible it was the drunk driver that hit them. But he knew he would feel the same way had it been him driving.

Arthur raised his hand and gently traced a large scar at Merlin’s hairline with his fingers. It was the worst day in Arthur’s life not only did he loose the only person he considered a parent but he almost lost Merlin too. Merlin had been in a coma for almost three weeks which the doctors wasn’t sure he would wake up from at first. Merlin was devastated when he found out Hunith hadn’t made it, but Arthur couldn’t help but feel relieved that Merlin was going to okay. Arthur wasn’t sure he would cope if he had lost Merlin too.

Arthur was hoping that Merlin would get some closure today, due to being in a coma he had missed Hunith’s funeral. They had delayed it as long as they could but in the end they had to do it without him, so Merlin never even got to say goodbye and desperately needed some closure. It would be the first time that Merlin had visited the grave, he had found it too difficult to go before now, something else Merlin felt guilty for. Arthur knew that today was going to be a big step to help Merlin move on.

Arthur slowly eased his way out of bed trying not to disturb Merlin too much he didn’t want to wake him just yet but his bladder was demanding attention. After he sorted himself out and had a quick shower he went back into the bedroom and smiled as he found that Merlin had moved over into Arthur’s spot on the bed.

Arthur quickly dressed and went into the kitchen to make breakfast he didn’t expect Merlin to eat very much but he wanted to get something in him, he would need the energy. He hoped that making his favourite would help.

Arthur put Merlin’s pancakes and coffee on a tray along with toast and coffee for himself, Arthur was not one for sweet things first thing in a morning whereas Merlin always had a sweet tooth.

He entered the bedroom to find that Merlin was awake “I made breakfast” he said as Merlin looked up at him.

“I thought I smelt something burning” Merlin said with a small smile, a very small smile, but a smile was a smile.

“And just what are you trying to say about my cooking skills Merlin?”

“Skills?” Merlin said “The word skill implies that you are good at something, so unless you want to count burning holes in my pans as a skill I would say that you had none.” Merlin said with a cheeky smile. And Arthur’s hopes for the day rose.

“Once that happened once Merlin” Merlin just lifted an eyebrow at him “Alright three times but I’m pretty sure even I could make pancakes.” Arthur smiled.

“Pancakes?” Merlin asked and lifted up to get a better look at the tray Arthur still held, but Arthur lifted the tray so that he couldn’t see.

“Yes pancakes, so should I go put these in the bin or are you willing to risk food poisoning?” Merlin didn’t answer he just sat there biting his lip. “Well?”

“I’m thinking” Merlin said.

“Just for that you don’t get syrup.” Arthur said moving to sit down next to merlin and taking the syrup of the tray and put it on the side table near him and out of Merlin’s reach.

“Yes I do, I always get syrup because you love me and can’t deny me anything.” Merlin said lightly.

“I think that’s debatable at the moment” Arthur said picking up his coffee. Merlin lifted his chin a little and stuck out his bottom lip. “Are you pouting?”

“No” Merlin said.

“You are, your pouting” Arthur said with a chuckle. “Fine here is your syrup” giving him back his syrup.

“Prat” Merlin said as a thank you.

“Girl” Arthur instantly retorted. But there was no heat in their words they were both smiling at their familiar banter. “Eat up before it goes cold.” He said picking up his toast.

They ate in silence. “You should get showered and dressed.” Arthur said when Merlin showed no signs of moving after he finished.

“Do I have to too, can’t we just go to sleep and wake up tomorrow and skip the whole day?” Merlin asked quietly.

“Yes you do and no we can’t, you can do this Merlin I know you can. We will take the day one stepping stone at a time and I will be with you every step of the way” Arthur said getting hold of Merlin’s hand and squeezing it. He really didn’t like seeing Merlin so upset but he knew he would be better off at the end of the day. “Step one get in the shower that is all you have to do and think about at the moment.” Arthur leaned over taking Merlin’s chin in his hand and kissed him firmly.

“Care to join me?” Merlin asked returning his kiss.

“No” Arthur leaned back “any other time and I would haul you over my shoulder and have you wet and naked by now but I think we both know that you are trying to stall which is not really going to help anyone”

Merlin sighed “okay.”

“One step at a time Merlin, I will do the dishes while you get in the shower” Arthur moved the breakfast tray to one side and Merlin got up and went in the bathroom. As soon as he heard the shower running he picked up the tray and went to do the dishes.

Once Arthur had finished the dishes he returned to the bedroom just as Merlin came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped round his waist and Merlin just stood there looking a little lost.

Arthur hated seeing Merlin looking so vulnerable like this it make his heart ache. He walked over and wrapped his arms around Merlin and hugged him tightly for a moment. After a while he loosened his grip and spoke softly into Merlin’s ear “step two get dressed.” Merlin nodded and moved towards the wardrobe while Arthur sat on the bed and waited for Merlin to get dressed offering silent support.

“What’s step three?” Merlin asked once he was dressed standing in front of Arthur.

“Step three, we get our shoes and coats on” Arthur took his hand and gently pulled him through the apartment to the front door. It seemed Merlin was on automatic as he slipped on his shoes and Arthur put Merlin’s coat on him before putting on his own. “Wait there” Arthur said and rushed back into the apartment and grabbed his keys, slipped Hunith’s charm bracelet into his pocket and picked up the flowers he had delivered yesterday.

Merlin bit his lip as his eyes watered when he saw Arthur come back with the flowers. Arthur grabbed Merlin’s hand in his free and looked directly into his eyes “Next step” Arthur said and Merlin nodded “We get in the car.”

Arthur kept hold of Merlin’s hand as they made their way to the car. Merlin automatically got in the car and fastened himself in while Arthur put the flowers on the back seat and settled himself in the driver’s seat.

Arthur thought it was best if he drove today given how emotional Merlin was at the moment plus Merlin hadn’t driven since the accident.

“Ready?” Arthur asked without thinking and mentally face palmed himself for asking a stupid question.

“No, not really” Merlin said shaking his head.

Arthur reached over and kissed him again reminding him he wasn’t alone. “Stepping stones Merlin” he said when he pulled away “for this step we simply go for a drive.”

Merlin released a shaky breath “Okay” he said quietly. Arthur grabbed his hand again and refused to let go while he started the car and drove away.

They drove in silence all the way to the cemetery, once there Arthur got out first picking up the flowers and walked round the car to Merlin’s door. Merlin had made no attempt to get out so Arthur reached over and released his belt. Grabbing his hand Arthur looked at him “Next step we go for a walk” Merlin nodded and allowed Arthur to tug him out of the car.

They walked hand in hand through the cemetery. Arthur guided Merlin since this was his first time and wasn’t sure where he was going. He pulled Merlin to a stop at Hunith’s grave and Merlin looked around like a frantic rabbit caught in a trap.

Arthur quickly placed the flowers on the floor in front of the head stone and returned to Merlin who now had his eyes locked on Hunith’s head stone. Arthur moved to stand next to Merlin and pulled out the charm bracelet.

Turning towards Merlin who looked up when Arthur cupped his face with his hand. “Next step” he said as he pushed the bracelet into Merlin’s hand “You let go and forgive yourself.”

It was as if Merlin was waiting for Arthur’s permission because as soon as he said that Merlin had tears streaming down his face and literally fell into Arthur’s arms. Arthur held him tightly kissing his head as Merlin sobbed hard into his chest and wrapping his own arms around Arthur’s waist.

Arthur could feel his own tears rolling down his cheeks as they sank to the floor. Arthur just held on as tightly as he could rocking them back and forth as if riding out a storm not even bothering to wipe away his own tears while Merlin broke down in his arms.

They stayed like that for a very long time, Arthur wasn’t sure how long exactly but it was now getting very cold and the winter sun was starting to fade from the sky. Merlin had gone quiet a while ago and seemed to have fallen asleep as he was all cried out but Arthur still didn’t let him go. But it was getting late he knew they had to move soon.

He shook Merlin gently and gave an extra squeeze “Merlin?” Merlin jolted awake but didn’t move, he just remained still breathing deeply.

“What’s the next step?” Merlin asked with a croak.

Arthur started to rub his hands up and down Merlin’s arms “We go home.” Arthur gave him one last squeeze with a kiss on his head and gently started to pull Merlin up. Merlin stumbled slightly and leaned into Arthur. Arthur wrapped his arm around his waist as they walked away.

Merlin was silent all the way home once they were back in the apartment and got rid of their coats and shoes Arthur pulled Merlin into another tight hug. Merlin gave a huge sigh and squeezed back “Thank you for today Arthur” Merlin said into Arthur’s neck before pulling back a little “Well thank you for everything I don’t think I would have got through this without you” and gave Arthur a small smile.

“Shhhh It’s ok Merlin” shoving Merlin’s head back into his neck “It’s what I am here for and I would do anything for you Merlin you mean everything to me you know that.” He could feel Merlin’s lips brush against his skin.

“I love you Arthur, I love you so much, I would be lost without you” Merlin said to his neck and squeezed Arthur back tightly.

“I love you too Merlin” Arthur kissed his head “How are you feeling?”

“Better” Merlin said still not moving from Arthur’s embrace “I feel lighter”

“That’s good. It means you are starting to move on” Arthur said “and we won’t ever forget we just find a way to carry on” they stood there for a few moments before Merlin asked

“What’s the next step?”

Arthur hesitated he had been wanting to do this for a while now “The next step?” Merlin nodded into his neck brushing his lips against Arthur’s skin leaving behind a tingling trail. Arthur took a deep breath and braced himself “The next step is you agree to marry me Merlin.”

Merlin froze and then pulled back sharply looking completely shocked “What?”

Arthur smiled and asked quietly “Will you marry me Merlin?”

A huge smile broke across Merlin’s face as his eyes watered, it seemed Merlin wasn’t as cried out as he thought. Merlin smashed his lips against Arthur’s “Of course I will marry you” he said in between kisses “A million times yes” and Arthur felt as if all his Christmases and Birthdays had come at and eagerly returned Merlin’s kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudo's are <3


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